TRAGEDY Round 3 at 28 weeks pregnant
I spent a grueling 8 days in the hospital. I begged the doctor to send me home. All I could think was, "My daughter is leaving to be with her dad for the summer in a matter of weeks and I'm not getting any time with her!"
My heart was full of guilt and my mind was frustrated with trying to determine a way to go home. The bleeding had stopped! What was the issue? I can sit at home and do nothing and at least be with my family and not alone!
Finally on day 8, against my boyfriend's wishes, my doctor said "I'll let you go home; but, you will be back. I don't know how long it will take you to come back but you will bleed again. You can do everything perfectly right and you will still be back." I accepted that ominous premonition. I didn't care! At least I would get some time at home with my family and my daughter before she left for the summer.
While I was in the hospital my boyfriend had hired movers and got us all moved into our new home. I was so excited to see it. He was worried because I'm a little OCD and there were still tons of boxes packed up. He unpacked the necessities. I was amazed he had time to do even that with him working, taking care of my daughter and coming to visit me in the hospital daily.
The day I got home I felt like a brand new woman! Finally! FREEDOM! I did a quick walk through the house...which I wasn't supposed to do...bed rest means stay in bed. I couldn't help it! I was far too excited so he held my hand and walked me to each room. Then he tucked me in bed and told me to stay put. I turned on the TV and did the best I could to stay put. I couldn't help but get up and admire our beautiful new home. Yes there were boxes everywhere but it was ours and it was a fresh start with no mold.
The entire time I was home with my boyfriend I noticed he was acting really strange. He just wasn't his fun loving, jokester self. I knew he was stressed out. I didn't know why. Was it my fault? Was it because I was home and he thought I would micromanage the unpacking? Was it because I'm impossible to live with? Was I cutting into the privacy he grew accustomed to in those 8 long days? These questions ate me alive. So much to the point that him and I would argue because I couldn't figure out why he was different towards me.
The first week rolled by and I started developing migraines! YUCK! Why was I getting migraines all of a sudden? Was it stress? Was it the weather changing? Was it sleeping too much? Was it laying in bed all day? Who knew? But they were coming in clusters and I was getting depressed. I felt like a zombie and I had a boyfriend I thought hated me just for being at home. How is it that I thought going home would be so amazing and it was really and truly a horrible experience.
Family would come by and help out and they were strict with me and wanted me in bed. My daughter wanted to play and wrestle and couldn't understand why she wasn't allowed to. She wanted me to tuck her in bed and I wasn't supposed to so I didn't because I didn't want to make everyone mad. I was really in a situation that was polar opposite of what I expected it to be. I WAS MISERABLE.
My sister had called and suggested they do Mother's Day at my house since I couldn't go anywhere. I said that was fine and they made all the food and brought it over. The night before that my boyfriend was not feeling well. My hormonal self had naturally assumed he just didn't want anyone to come over so this was his way of trying to put a stop to it. Then I assumed he hated me so much he just had to ruin my Mother's Day! Silly I know...hormones make us crazy lol.
Anyway, he went into our bathroom and was puking and making all these noises that I found more annoying than anything. I assumed he wanted me to go in there and comfort him but I was so frustrated at this point all I could think was, "You're on your own...I'm not letting whatever you have send me back to the hospital! Nope! Not today!!! You just have a case of the infamous man flu!"
I know you're thinking I'm super insensitive right now! Yes I was! I was mad because I thought he was trying everything he could to get me back in the hospital and I couldn't pinpoint the reason. I saw him as the enemy at this point. Yes, I'm aware that's pretty common for pregnant women to go through those phases. I'm not proud of it okay! I was a total B!!!
The next morning was Mother's Day and when he woke up he was still being what I considered dramatic so I took over the chores that I wasn't supposed to be doing and I told him to go to his parents' house. If he had the stomach bug I honestly and truly didn't want it. So he went over there...and I have to admit, he did look pretty sick but I still felt he was playing hooky to ruin my day.
My family showed up and we had a great day.
After everyone left I told him he could come home so he did. When he got home he looked even worse and his parents brought him. I was thinking "boy you are really milking this!"
He went to bed and I got my daughter in bed and I slept on the couch because I couldn't spend another night listening to all the moaning and groaning. Especially since I assumed it was all a ploy to annoy me back into the hospital. (I know many of you hate me by now! I promise I came to)
We get up that Monday and he's moping around and acting all sick still. He's trying to get my daughter to daycare and I finally said, "If its that bad you don't need to be driving! I'll take her!" He agreed and decided to ride with me since I wasn't supposed to be driving. Mind you I'm still suffering through cluster migraines at this point which made my patience even more thin than just a pregnant woman.
We drop her off and he is asking me to take him to the urgent care clinic. I told him, if its that bad you need to go to the ER. So he said "Okay! take me to the ER please!" Then it hit me. He wants to go to the ER. DAMN maybe he really is sick. I'm such a B! Wow! Okay it's time to be on his side! Stop being petty and take care of your man! Ugghhhh I hope he's okay! I need him!!!!
Long story short; he had a potential bowel blockage likely from all the stress and lack of water. He had stressed himself to sickness over me and our unborn son. It was my fault he was there! How could I have been so selfish to be against the one person I knew was in my corner no matter how awful I was. I got in my car to head to an appointment and I cried. I was a terrible person for not believing him and now the doctor wasn't letting him leave.
I called my mother and told her I needed her help and she gladly came and stayed with me the entire week he was in the hospital because I still had a 4 year old to take care of and I couldn't do that on bed rest. It was amazing having her there. I wasn't alone! She took care of all the cleaning, she took care of my daughter, she kept me fed and even set up the nursery! I was so happy to have her there with me that week.
By Friday he was being released. I couldn't wait to get him home! I was still mad at him because I thought he hated me for wanting out of the hospital but I also assumed after his 5 days maybe he understood it a little bit. Him and I had a long talk and some tears and we gained a healthy understanding that evening. We are the dream team together but apart we take on a lot of stress! We knew we needed to work together. I slept on the couch again that night because he had these hiccups that I simply couldn't sleep through and if I didn't sleep I would get a migraine so I knew I had to at least make that happen. Sounds bad but our couch is really comfy.
That night my daughter had been particularly tired too and passed out quite early. I remember thinking something wasn't right with her.
The next morning she came in the living room and woke me up. I noticed the entire side of her face was swollen like a chipmunk!!! I immediately thought it was an allergic reaction. Of course when you ask a 4 year old what all they did yesterday you get all sorts of funny stories and try to piece it together.
I woke my boyfriend up and he agreed we needed to go to the ER! UGH! So tired of the hospital. We head into the ER and the doc takes a quick look and automatically says its the mumps! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Mind you, her dad was on his way at this point to pick her up for the summer. I made the call to him to turn around because she couldn't travel for 5 days. The doc gave us meds and sent us home with strict instructions to keep her home.
COULD WE JUST CATCH A TINY BREAK?!?!
On the way home, a migraine hit me hard. So bad to the point where I had to have my boyfriend drive us home...one day out of the hospital himself. He gets us home and puts us both down for naps hahaha! Then he goes to get my daughters meds from the pharmacy while we were sleeping. I woke up hours later and migraine free. Like every pregnant woman, I had to pee!
Went to the restroom and realized I was bleeding profusely. I yelled for my boyfriend only for him to see this was the worst hemorrhage yet. I could see the panic in his eyes. My daughter was still asleep thank GOD! We went through our emergency call list. Our dilemma was being home with a kid that had the mumps which is highly contagious. We had to wait for someone to get there and wait with her before we could leave because I couldn't bring her and infect all the pregnant women in labor and delivery with the mumps.
My best friend showed up lightning fast and we were on our way! I cried the whole way there...not because the pain or the fear, but because I knew I was going to be admitted yet again and it would be for a really long time.
My heart was full of guilt and my mind was frustrated with trying to determine a way to go home. The bleeding had stopped! What was the issue? I can sit at home and do nothing and at least be with my family and not alone!
Finally on day 8, against my boyfriend's wishes, my doctor said "I'll let you go home; but, you will be back. I don't know how long it will take you to come back but you will bleed again. You can do everything perfectly right and you will still be back." I accepted that ominous premonition. I didn't care! At least I would get some time at home with my family and my daughter before she left for the summer.
While I was in the hospital my boyfriend had hired movers and got us all moved into our new home. I was so excited to see it. He was worried because I'm a little OCD and there were still tons of boxes packed up. He unpacked the necessities. I was amazed he had time to do even that with him working, taking care of my daughter and coming to visit me in the hospital daily.
The day I got home I felt like a brand new woman! Finally! FREEDOM! I did a quick walk through the house...which I wasn't supposed to do...bed rest means stay in bed. I couldn't help it! I was far too excited so he held my hand and walked me to each room. Then he tucked me in bed and told me to stay put. I turned on the TV and did the best I could to stay put. I couldn't help but get up and admire our beautiful new home. Yes there were boxes everywhere but it was ours and it was a fresh start with no mold.
The entire time I was home with my boyfriend I noticed he was acting really strange. He just wasn't his fun loving, jokester self. I knew he was stressed out. I didn't know why. Was it my fault? Was it because I was home and he thought I would micromanage the unpacking? Was it because I'm impossible to live with? Was I cutting into the privacy he grew accustomed to in those 8 long days? These questions ate me alive. So much to the point that him and I would argue because I couldn't figure out why he was different towards me.
The first week rolled by and I started developing migraines! YUCK! Why was I getting migraines all of a sudden? Was it stress? Was it the weather changing? Was it sleeping too much? Was it laying in bed all day? Who knew? But they were coming in clusters and I was getting depressed. I felt like a zombie and I had a boyfriend I thought hated me just for being at home. How is it that I thought going home would be so amazing and it was really and truly a horrible experience.
Family would come by and help out and they were strict with me and wanted me in bed. My daughter wanted to play and wrestle and couldn't understand why she wasn't allowed to. She wanted me to tuck her in bed and I wasn't supposed to so I didn't because I didn't want to make everyone mad. I was really in a situation that was polar opposite of what I expected it to be. I WAS MISERABLE.
My sister had called and suggested they do Mother's Day at my house since I couldn't go anywhere. I said that was fine and they made all the food and brought it over. The night before that my boyfriend was not feeling well. My hormonal self had naturally assumed he just didn't want anyone to come over so this was his way of trying to put a stop to it. Then I assumed he hated me so much he just had to ruin my Mother's Day! Silly I know...hormones make us crazy lol.
Anyway, he went into our bathroom and was puking and making all these noises that I found more annoying than anything. I assumed he wanted me to go in there and comfort him but I was so frustrated at this point all I could think was, "You're on your own...I'm not letting whatever you have send me back to the hospital! Nope! Not today!!! You just have a case of the infamous man flu!"
I know you're thinking I'm super insensitive right now! Yes I was! I was mad because I thought he was trying everything he could to get me back in the hospital and I couldn't pinpoint the reason. I saw him as the enemy at this point. Yes, I'm aware that's pretty common for pregnant women to go through those phases. I'm not proud of it okay! I was a total B!!!
The next morning was Mother's Day and when he woke up he was still being what I considered dramatic so I took over the chores that I wasn't supposed to be doing and I told him to go to his parents' house. If he had the stomach bug I honestly and truly didn't want it. So he went over there...and I have to admit, he did look pretty sick but I still felt he was playing hooky to ruin my day.
My family showed up and we had a great day.
After everyone left I told him he could come home so he did. When he got home he looked even worse and his parents brought him. I was thinking "boy you are really milking this!"
He went to bed and I got my daughter in bed and I slept on the couch because I couldn't spend another night listening to all the moaning and groaning. Especially since I assumed it was all a ploy to annoy me back into the hospital. (I know many of you hate me by now! I promise I came to)
We get up that Monday and he's moping around and acting all sick still. He's trying to get my daughter to daycare and I finally said, "If its that bad you don't need to be driving! I'll take her!" He agreed and decided to ride with me since I wasn't supposed to be driving. Mind you I'm still suffering through cluster migraines at this point which made my patience even more thin than just a pregnant woman.
We drop her off and he is asking me to take him to the urgent care clinic. I told him, if its that bad you need to go to the ER. So he said "Okay! take me to the ER please!" Then it hit me. He wants to go to the ER. DAMN maybe he really is sick. I'm such a B! Wow! Okay it's time to be on his side! Stop being petty and take care of your man! Ugghhhh I hope he's okay! I need him!!!!
Long story short; he had a potential bowel blockage likely from all the stress and lack of water. He had stressed himself to sickness over me and our unborn son. It was my fault he was there! How could I have been so selfish to be against the one person I knew was in my corner no matter how awful I was. I got in my car to head to an appointment and I cried. I was a terrible person for not believing him and now the doctor wasn't letting him leave.
I called my mother and told her I needed her help and she gladly came and stayed with me the entire week he was in the hospital because I still had a 4 year old to take care of and I couldn't do that on bed rest. It was amazing having her there. I wasn't alone! She took care of all the cleaning, she took care of my daughter, she kept me fed and even set up the nursery! I was so happy to have her there with me that week.
By Friday he was being released. I couldn't wait to get him home! I was still mad at him because I thought he hated me for wanting out of the hospital but I also assumed after his 5 days maybe he understood it a little bit. Him and I had a long talk and some tears and we gained a healthy understanding that evening. We are the dream team together but apart we take on a lot of stress! We knew we needed to work together. I slept on the couch again that night because he had these hiccups that I simply couldn't sleep through and if I didn't sleep I would get a migraine so I knew I had to at least make that happen. Sounds bad but our couch is really comfy.
That night my daughter had been particularly tired too and passed out quite early. I remember thinking something wasn't right with her.
The next morning she came in the living room and woke me up. I noticed the entire side of her face was swollen like a chipmunk!!! I immediately thought it was an allergic reaction. Of course when you ask a 4 year old what all they did yesterday you get all sorts of funny stories and try to piece it together.
I woke my boyfriend up and he agreed we needed to go to the ER! UGH! So tired of the hospital. We head into the ER and the doc takes a quick look and automatically says its the mumps! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Mind you, her dad was on his way at this point to pick her up for the summer. I made the call to him to turn around because she couldn't travel for 5 days. The doc gave us meds and sent us home with strict instructions to keep her home.
COULD WE JUST CATCH A TINY BREAK?!?!
On the way home, a migraine hit me hard. So bad to the point where I had to have my boyfriend drive us home...one day out of the hospital himself. He gets us home and puts us both down for naps hahaha! Then he goes to get my daughters meds from the pharmacy while we were sleeping. I woke up hours later and migraine free. Like every pregnant woman, I had to pee!
Went to the restroom and realized I was bleeding profusely. I yelled for my boyfriend only for him to see this was the worst hemorrhage yet. I could see the panic in his eyes. My daughter was still asleep thank GOD! We went through our emergency call list. Our dilemma was being home with a kid that had the mumps which is highly contagious. We had to wait for someone to get there and wait with her before we could leave because I couldn't bring her and infect all the pregnant women in labor and delivery with the mumps.
My best friend showed up lightning fast and we were on our way! I cried the whole way there...not because the pain or the fear, but because I knew I was going to be admitted yet again and it would be for a really long time.
Comments
Post a Comment